Promises for the Past
by Astraea de Saa
Summary: A love that will never be... A promise made on a memory...
1. Chapter 1

_**Chapter 1**_

Remus Lupin glanced up from his book as the door to his room opened. He smiled when he saw who had invaded his privacy.

Lily Evans stood framed in the door way with a smirk on her face. "Reading are we?" she asked slyly.

"Yes, yes. Just reading yet another boring manuscript," Remus replied, trying his best to sound bored. "So I'm quite glad that you interrupted me."

"Oh, good. I just wanted to see how you've been lately because I haven't seen you around much," Lily said with a little frown on her pretty face.

"So you've noticed? Well, I must admit that I have been a bit busy with work lately," Remus said with a smile.

"Of course I noticed! How could I not notice that one of my favorite chaps wasn't around? Anyway, it doesn't matter. The real reason that I came by was to tell you good-bye for a bit. I'm leaving tomorrow to go to James' parents' house on the coast. They invited me, or rather, _James_ did. I'll be gone for a week and I just wanted to see you before I left," Lily informed him.

Remus' smile faded a little. "James invited you? Oh, well, good for him. Um, would you care to close the door? Or will you not be staying for a little while?" he questioned.

Lily had forgotten that she was in the Leaky Cauldron. The noise from downstairs was drifting upstairs and making it hard to have a normal conversation. She turned and quickly shut the door. As she turned back to face Remus, he stood up from his chair and advanced towards her. He came within arm's length of Lily and she stared into his eyes. In them, she saw something that scared her. A fire was burning; a small glimpse of Remus' soul was visible to her. She drew a breath and placed her hand on his arm.

"Don't be jealous, Remus. It's only for a week," Lily said softly.

"Jealous? How can I _not_ be jealous? A week can be such a long time," replied Remus as he sighed dejectedly.

Lily dropped her head. Remus lifted her chin with his hand.

"You had better have a good time, for my sake," Remus teased as he looked into her eyes. He leaned closer to her and planted a soft kiss on the corner of her mouth. She sighed and stepped closer to nestle her head against his shoulder. Remus stroked her hair gently as he whispered in her ear.

"Why don't you spend the night here?" Remus suggested.

Lily pulled away from him and her eyes met his. "Here?" Lily inquired slyly, "You don't mean…"

Remus nodded. "But…" Lily's voice trailed off.

He leaned and kissed her on the lips, gently at first and then passionately. Lily put her body into their kiss, deepening it by parting her lips. Remus' tongue met hers as he pulled her toward his bed. She came willingly, using her free arm to pull off her robes. Remus did likewise and they collapsed upon the bed, their kiss never breaking. Lily's hands made their way to Remus' longish, brown hair. He, meanwhile, was hastily undoing the buttons of her shirt. Lily was the first to pull away from their soulful kiss as she pulled Remus' shirt from his body. It came away revealing a perfectly chiseled chest with tiny droplets of sweat forming on it. Remus pinned Lily to the bed as he scattered soft kisses across her newly exposed shoulders. Her breath was hot in his ear as she nuzzled the smooth skin on his neck. He drew a breath as her hand made its way down to the insides of his thighs. She trailed her fingers lightly across his crotch causing him to buck slightly under her touch.

Remus smirked. "You know what you're doing, don't you?" he breathed in her ear.

"Absolutely. I've wanted you for a long time," Lily replied saucily as she leaned her head on her hand. She met his gaze with her emerald green eyes and watched him as he leaned closer and kissed her on the tip of her nose. She smiled and pulled Remus to her and kissed him on the lips. He lowered himself onto the bed next to her and Lily rolled on top of him, undoing the fastenings on his pants. He lifted his narrow hips so she could tug the pants off. They fell to the floor revealing black knickers that went together perfectly with his tan body. Lily smirked and led his hand up to the zipper on her skirt. He unzipped it and pulled the garment from her body.

Remus' eyes flickered over her body that glistened in the light of the one lamp. They stopped on her heaving breasts, still partially covered by her bra. He leaned and kissed the top of each breast as he reached behind her and undid the clasp of her bra that happened to be the same deep green as her eyes. Remus slid the straps from her arms and dropped the lingerie on the floor. His warm, brown eyes took in every detail of her perfectly formed breasts. He bent his head to suck gently on one of them. Lily let out a little moan as his mouth made her passion grow. She trailed her hands down his spine as his tongue caressed her nipple. As the warmth of his mouth left her breast, the shock of the cold air hardened her nipple and made Lily gasp. Remus then turned his affection on her other breast as Lily wrapped one of her legs around Remus'. Her hand trailed its way from his spine to the back of his neck and into his hair.

When Remus pulled away from her breast, Lily's free hand slipped down to the inside of his thigh and she pressed her fingers against him. Remus moaned with unexpected pleasure. As Lily continued the movement of her fingers, Remus kissed her temptingly on her lips and used both of his hands to push her black knickers over her smooth hips. Lily arched her back and moved her hand from his crotch to one of his hands. She pulled them away from her body and as Remus watched, she stood up from the bed and pushed her own knickers down. She stepped out of them as Remus stood up too. Copying her, he took his knickers off and they both took in the sights of each other's naked bodies.

Remus grinned wickedly and sat down on the bed, pulling Lily with him. He pushed her down on the bed and knelt in front of her. She licked her lips in anticipation. Remus slowly parted her legs as he positioned himself to rest on his stomach. He teased her by scattering kissed along the insides of her thighs. Lily moaned softly as her body shivered in anticipation and want. "Remus…" Lily whispered.

As if in response, he shot out his tongue and hit her clit. Feeling as if she had been hit with a bolt of electricity, Lily reached down and entwined her fingers through his hair. Remus slid his tongue in deeper as if trying to taste the very center of her body. He had never done this to anyone before, but it came as second nature as waves of pleasure swept over Lily. When he finally pulled away from her, Remus rested his head on Lily's stomach for a moment as she stroked his hair. He pulled himself up and looked into her eyes. She held his gaze for a moment and looked away.

She knew what was coming and she wanted it so bad. Lily had lost her virginity with James while they were at Hogwarts but she hadn't slept with anyone since. Remus, too, had lost his virginity at Hogwarts, to a dark-eyed Ravenclaw girl. As long as he could remember he had wanted Lily, but he hadn't touched her. "It's for James' sake," he had always told himself. James Potter hadn't entered his mind tonight, however. Remus knew from the look in Lily's eyes that she was waiting, so he pulled himself on top of her. He entered her rather forcefully and her eyes widened with surprise. He rocked gently on top of her and pressed their bodies together. She hadn't felt this kind of pleasure when she had been with James so long ago. Remus could sense that somehow and he kissed her, running his tongue across her lips. She parted her lips and pulled his tongue into her mouth, all the while their bodies coursing with pleasure at being connected. They stayed that way until they both climaxed. Lily and Remus grasped each other tightly until the burning sensation passed. Remus eventually pulled out of her and lay down on the bed next to her.

Both breathing heavily, they lay entwined on the bad, gazing into each other's eyes. "Lily…that…that was perfect," Remus managed to say after a few minutes.

She smiled and rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. Soon, her breathing evened out and Remus knew that she was asleep.

"I love you, Lily Evans," Remus said softly in her ear. He pulled the covers over them and then drifted off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

Remus stirred in bed and blinked his eyes open. He smiled sleepily and turned to face where Lily had slept by his side. He sat up, fully awake, as he realized that Lily was nowhere to be seen. He jumped out of bed and scanned the room, noticing that her clothes were gone but also that there was a piece of parchment on his desk that hadn't been there the night before. As he picked it up, he realized that it was a note from Lily.

_My dear Remus,_

_I hate to have to leave without saying good-bye, but I didn't want to wake you. Besides, I think that we said our fond farewells last night, don't you agree? Anyway, I'll be back soon. A week will fly by faster now. I'll never forget last night, no matter what happens. There will always be something special between us. I've got to go now. James will be expecting me._

_Love,_

_ Lily_

Remus sighed. He leaned down to pick his knickers off of the floor and put them on.

A week later, there was a knock on Remus' door. He smiles to himself, fully expecting it to be Lily. He was right, but his smile faded as the door opened to reveal a somber Lily.

"Hello Remus," Lily said softly.

"Lily, is there something wrong?" Remus asked, a look of worry clouding his handsome face.

"No, not really….. Remus, I don't know how to tell you this without it coming out wrong or hurting your feelings," Lily blurted out.

Remus walked over to her and put his hands on her shoulders. He looked in her eyes and told her firmly, "Lily, whatever it is, I can take it. Now tell me."

"James asked me to marry him and I accepted. I never really realized it until that night on the beach when he proposed, but I love him, Remus. I love him so much. If I had known, then I probably wouldn't have done what I did that night with you. But then I realize that it wouldn't have changed a thing. I wouldn't take back that night for the world," Lily confessed. She sighed and lifted her eyes to meet Remus' startled ones.

"I love you too, Remus, just not the way that I love James. I'm sorry, I have to go now," Lily said sadly. It pained her to look at the hurt expression in his eyes. She bit her lip and turned to go.

"Lily…" Remus whispered sorrowfully.

She shook her head and walked out of the room. As she closed the door, Remus couldn't help but notice the ring glittering on her left hand. James Potter had beaten him. He had always known that James had likes Lily, but he hadn't expected this. God, he loved Lily so much and he didn't know how he was going to live with this. To know that the two were in love and that he could never have Lily was too much for Remus. A silent tear rolled down his cheek. He quickly brushed it away, telling himself that he was not about to start crying. It was not enough though, and he fell on his bed, his body wracked with heart-wrenching sobs.

Remus attended the wedding as one of James' best men. Afterwards, he cheerfully congratulated the happy couple. Lily gave him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek and pulled away, giving him on long glance before moving on to the next guest. He understood the gesture and nodded slightly. Silently, they had promised each other their undying friendship and a spark of happiness appeared in Remus' eyes.

About two years later, when the news of the Potters' murders reached Remus, he cried once more. This time there were two reasons. Lily was dead and she had died a Potter. He thought back to that one night. The way that her emerald eyes had looked deep into his soul and-

Remus woke up with a start. He had been dreaming of the past again. "Where am I?" he thought to himself. Oh yes, he was on the train to Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He was the new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher. He then realized that the compartment was pitch black and there were voices surrounding him.

"Quiet!" he said to the voices.

He realized that there was a dementor onboard. After he had dealt with it and he could see again, Remus looked around the compartment. There was a girl with bushy, brown hair sitting on the seat next to him and two redheaded kids, a boy and a girl sat across from him. Another child, a timid-looking boy sat curled up in the corner and on lying on the floor was a boy. He had unruly, black hair that looked familiar and when he made eye contact, Remus stifled a gasp.

The boy had emerald eyes, the exact shade as Lily's. Remus' brown eyes flickered over the boy's lightening shaped scar. Remus looked away for a moment and back to the boy. This was Lily's son. Harry Potter, the boy who lived because of his mother's love. Staring at Harry, some of his werewolf instinct took hold of him. He would protect Harry, protect him because he was all that was left of Lily Evans Potter. He had failed to make Lily his so that he could protect her, but he would protect her son. He would do it for Lily.

Tears welled up in Remus' eyes but he blinked them back. And, like that night so long ago, he whispered in his head,

"I love you, Lily Evans."


End file.
